God appointed Messiahs

There is nothing more off-putting than people who can interrupt your discussion before you have started. Worse, they pretend to know everything about everything ! They can out-mouth, out shout and out-gab anyone as sundry individuals run for cover, as they wd hv on sighting a dinosaur.

You cd be talking about the Nasa's new fangled moon orbiter or China's trade policy impact on the US or my wife's newest weight loss program or about the latest film release, Mr know-alls know exactly when and how to butt in and when to hi-jack the conversation.

over the past few years, my reactions have ranged from amazement to amusement. lately its given way to anger. Patience is obviously not a virtue and the hope that their lung power wd soon exhaust gets belied as fresh air supplies make way to their inflated bodies.

have noticed and made a laundry list of vital clues that help describe and identify such folk.

a) Tiny Ears - they have such limited listening skills that i wonder why God gave them ears at all - the objective of this organ in their bodies is to pick up signals of where the next conversation has started. Thats all. post that the ear automatically shuts itself off! Am sure NASA is still to pick up this trait of human evolution.
b) Large sleepy eyes - Strange but true. Even with extra large eyes, their poor observation skills, are inexplicable. For nothing can explain their lack of observation of others' discomfort when they hold fort!
c) Large bodies - most such people i know of have relatively large bodies. Maybe a function of all the air intake they have to subject their bodies to, to keep them activated..
d) Info hounds - They fall in the category of people who seek information, gossip, and anything that can help in their next monologue almost like a hound seeks blood. But for this information seeking, they read precious little. Most info sought is informal - relying more on ready to please colleagues, old aquaintances or overheard casual snippets of other people's conversations.

e) No head movement -they have the amazing knack of keeping their head absolutely constant almost like a rishi delivering his discourse while ordinary folk pay obeisance.

f) Mr Popular -In their own minds, if they ran for elections, everyone else wd forfeit their deposit, for ideally no one wd stand opposite them anyway. And if they did, they wd still win hands down as the entire junta wd vote only for them. They know every body and everybody knows them. You talk about the PM - and they wd know him. You talk about the head of a large MNC, and he wd have been playing golf with them just last month. You talk about a film star and he wd be known either to their uncle or aunt or may have casually dropped by to say hi when he was having lunch in an exotic restaurant. I mean, SRK's popularity is just so overhyped, in comparison!
In their minds, even casual aquaintances are good friends who wd stop at nothing to promote them, recommend them and go out of their ways, even leaving their own jobs to help them.

f) Outwardly patient - It is weird that they are able to maintain a calm and composed outword posture when actually they literally have ants in their pants, dying to jump into any discussion, no matter how little the provocation or invitation - almost like little children willing to frolic in the rain with little regard to anything else. The only problem is that they are little no more.

g) God appointed Messiahs -they always manage to increase my faith in God not because they pretend to be the local, nukkad wala-easily available messiah - some one who talks with the authority of the almight himself, with the intention of soothing the lives of the hoi-polloi. But because, everytime i have to go through their discourse, i beg God to send angels to deliver us of these messiahs first.

Oh lord, do listen to my prayers!