God appointed Messiahs

There is nothing more off-putting than people who can interrupt your discussion before you have started. Worse, they pretend to know everything about everything ! They can out-mouth, out shout and out-gab anyone as sundry individuals run for cover, as they wd hv on sighting a dinosaur.

You cd be talking about the Nasa's new fangled moon orbiter or China's trade policy impact on the US or my wife's newest weight loss program or about the latest film release, Mr know-alls know exactly when and how to butt in and when to hi-jack the conversation.

over the past few years, my reactions have ranged from amazement to amusement. lately its given way to anger. Patience is obviously not a virtue and the hope that their lung power wd soon exhaust gets belied as fresh air supplies make way to their inflated bodies.

have noticed and made a laundry list of vital clues that help describe and identify such folk.

a) Tiny Ears - they have such limited listening skills that i wonder why God gave them ears at all - the objective of this organ in their bodies is to pick up signals of where the next conversation has started. Thats all. post that the ear automatically shuts itself off! Am sure NASA is still to pick up this trait of human evolution.
b) Large sleepy eyes - Strange but true. Even with extra large eyes, their poor observation skills, are inexplicable. For nothing can explain their lack of observation of others' discomfort when they hold fort!
c) Large bodies - most such people i know of have relatively large bodies. Maybe a function of all the air intake they have to subject their bodies to, to keep them activated..
d) Info hounds - They fall in the category of people who seek information, gossip, and anything that can help in their next monologue almost like a hound seeks blood. But for this information seeking, they read precious little. Most info sought is informal - relying more on ready to please colleagues, old aquaintances or overheard casual snippets of other people's conversations.

e) No head movement -they have the amazing knack of keeping their head absolutely constant almost like a rishi delivering his discourse while ordinary folk pay obeisance.

f) Mr Popular -In their own minds, if they ran for elections, everyone else wd forfeit their deposit, for ideally no one wd stand opposite them anyway. And if they did, they wd still win hands down as the entire junta wd vote only for them. They know every body and everybody knows them. You talk about the PM - and they wd know him. You talk about the head of a large MNC, and he wd have been playing golf with them just last month. You talk about a film star and he wd be known either to their uncle or aunt or may have casually dropped by to say hi when he was having lunch in an exotic restaurant. I mean, SRK's popularity is just so overhyped, in comparison!
In their minds, even casual aquaintances are good friends who wd stop at nothing to promote them, recommend them and go out of their ways, even leaving their own jobs to help them.

f) Outwardly patient - It is weird that they are able to maintain a calm and composed outword posture when actually they literally have ants in their pants, dying to jump into any discussion, no matter how little the provocation or invitation - almost like little children willing to frolic in the rain with little regard to anything else. The only problem is that they are little no more.

g) God appointed Messiahs -they always manage to increase my faith in God not because they pretend to be the local, nukkad wala-easily available messiah - some one who talks with the authority of the almight himself, with the intention of soothing the lives of the hoi-polloi. But because, everytime i have to go through their discourse, i beg God to send angels to deliver us of these messiahs first.

Oh lord, do listen to my prayers!

Lord Ram, women, pubs and videotape

We live in times where fact and fiction are no strangers and reality is weird-er than the weirdest dreams ! How else could one explain urban, educated girls from good families being pushed, shoved and abused - for being in a pub with friends and ostensibly chilling out. Or school students and their parents being chased by goons for singing songs in a language the goons did not approve of. That these incidents happened not in some part of unlettered, rural and media dark india, but shockingly in Mangalore and Nasik - cities known for their bustling medical, Engineering and management student fraternity, and for being strong trading and business destinations.

To me, the shame was not just that such incidents happened, because in every society there are and would continue to be people who think and act differently from the mainstream. The greater shame is in the almost grudging response of the government.

Groups such as MNS and the Sriram Sena represent another face of terror, perhaps as lethal as the Al-Qaida or the Lashkar-E-Taiba. There aim may not be to maim or kill innocents. But the philiosphy they espouse and seek to perpetrate is as reprehensible.

I cant bear to think of a time when more of such people would be telling us what kind of restaurants we should visit. Continental or chineese food could invite being dragged by the hair as it is "un-indian"; watching the latest English movie or play could lead one into being slapped on the face 'cause it could be hurting our culture and ethics. And listening to songs other than in the chosen language could lead to us being targeted by violent mobs!!

Coercing people at large into unquestioned acceptance of their faith, their beliefs and sometimes into inane things such as their music, their food and their choice of what represents Indian culture deserves not lip service condemnation but the severest form of corporal punishment.

Why should the penalty applicable to them be any less stringent or unrepentant as for Kasab?

life imprisonment awarded to few such individuals, would greatly diminish the frequency of such incidents. Equally, a half hearted response such as the one we are witnessing now from the government would encourage more such hounds to go on with their half baked ideas and agendas.
Ancient Indian culture and texts are replete with references to liquor consumption amongst ordinary women folk as well as royalty. Lord Ram never ever stood for dragging women by their hair, slapping them cruelly, molesting them or curbing their independence of view and action. The basic tenet that such "culture taliban" seek to defend is infirm and invalid.

If this is what political parties like the BJP and Congress stand for, we must express our contrary opinion and displeasure strongly enough to ensure that politically motivated views, opinions and actions are openly debated, debunked and shamed.
we deserve better.

The secrets of Bournville

One of the nicer ads on TV these days is for Cadbury's Bournville chocolates. Good story, decent execution and clear message takeout - atleast thats what i initially thought! whats even better is that all in the family ranging from 7 to 41 seemed to like it.
Yet we have had our reasons not to buy it so far -
my youngest daughter, 7 felt that the big "dino-saurish" bird wd come and take her if she ate it in the open.
the older one at 11, felt that she had not done so well in her regular class tests and she had not earned it.
Wife felt that it was just too rich and fattening and sin should ideally be postponed as long as possible.
and @ rs 75/pc, i felt it was far too expensive for an indian chocolate and hence avoidable!
so much for clear advtsg messages and consumer understanding!

The Buffalo turned 53!

The Buffalo turned 53!!

No diamonds or fushcia this time,

A pink n Silver outfit under leather

barely concealing its abundant glee!

The lavish cake, the collected zillions,

the public tamasha and teeming minions,

were all there!

Remember,

the actual bash happened earlier;

a sundry engineer thrashed to death!

but "chelaa's" and moolah aplenty,

made it escape the net...

yet again.

Yet again, allowing it to ride rough-shod

over people and land,

south of himalayan slopes;

looting, extorting, killing,

breaking norms and dashing hopes.

The buffalo's wicked run continues..

and so does its wicked smile.

Stop it, or else, the PM's chair

cd soon fall to its guile!

Think. Just think of the day,

if the buffalo were to be PM

Filth, chaos, murder, mayhem..

Save us Oh, lord. Pray !!!

Hilarious "President"

Mananaged to catch " The President is coming" over the weekend.
absolutely hilarious stuff.
no great production values, no music, no starcast - not in the conventional way atleast..and yet its witty-sarcastic dialogue, and sense of fun running through it had us in splits - almost throughout.
each character was so aptly cast and did a perfect job.
Standout stuff! must watch!

Raju Hazir Ho

Mulzim No 420, Ramalinga Raju hazir ho....o...o.

Ever imagined what cd have prompted an erudite technocrat to call his company "truth"? It cd have been a reflection of his lofty ideals in his youth for I cant imagine that several years ago he wd have envisioned running his company on principles that are on the wrong side of law.

Obviously, these ideals have disappeared now.

The fact that he lied is now well known. But that a man - like you and me - by education, training and experience - chooses to mis-lead his trusted employees, shareholders and junta at large into an abyss of filth is alarming. To assume that he was doing it only to protect his shareholding - wd be naive. But did his mis-doings ever prick his conscience?

Obviously he did this at a stretch for many years. what i am really keen to understand is how did he do it the first time and overcome the call of his conscience? was it in a typical filmy way, where, buoyed by the success of his first misadventure, of not getting caught, he continued to dig deeper and deeper and the call of his conscience kept getting buried inside?
My theory is that he was completely overwhelmed by the power-attitude-personality troika that has been the undoing for so many before him.

a) Absolute POWER - of money, coupled with the backing of a political establishment much more powerful than him - Chandrababu Naidu who supported through his initial years ; and YSR Reddy who guarded him in his latter years, even delaying his arrest to enable him to put his house in order. when you have friends who cd change the environment for you -why wd anyone bother ?
b) Attitude - "manage kar lenge" - the confidence that he would be able to smoothly slide out of any situation may have been the cornerstone of his intrinsic belief that he wd survive. after all "money buys everything" ? manage kar lenge !! This is not confidence but a complete lack of respect for any norm that civil society follows - masquerading as self confidence.
c) Warped Values - Crossing the thin line between what is right and what is not, is reflective of a warped upbringing; of values that tilt in favour of :" how the world shd see it" and not "what is right" ; it is reflective of a personality ridden with an inferiority complex that equates blind ambition with Money and power, failing to understand that credibility, self respect and character need probably higher weightage.

that these three are a deadly combination is proven time and again - by every single despicable politician who gets caught crossing this thin line.

We all strive to go beyond what we have, or beyond what we have achieved. But going beyond recognised norms of honour, respect, scruples and of ethics -is something we dont attempt. The difference between the Rajus of the world and many others including people like us is not in the scale of our ambition or our confidence- but in the importance that we attatch to our ingrained values. Maybe our relatively contented nature and respect for self and others makes us what we are and makes raju - what he is.

Some say, that they were surprised that an educated industrialist did something like this. Ask anybody who has seen companies work up close and personal. There are lots of rajus out there !
Maybe, the humbling experience in jails wd do them some good.

did Australia

• Over the weekend, in keeping with my fine run on the latest flicks, did "Australia", an english movie, that makes one feel that Joddha Akbar was a breeze in comparison. At a running time of 3 hrs plus, it felt uncannily akin to a typical Bollywood masala in several parts -including the climax, which believe me, each one of us wd have seen a zillion times over in Hindi movies.
  
  This love tale of Hugh Jackman (Drover) and Nicole Kidman (Lady Ashley) was set in 1939, against a backdrop of aboriginals and the stolen generation in Oz, culminating with the bombing of Darwin (post pearl harbour). Interesting and insightful stuff. But it seriously dragged in parts and atleast twice when one felt that the movie was over, it continued to meander on.
  Everytime i began snoozing (forgive me, we were in the 10pm show), was woken up by oohs, aahs and wows- from the adjoining seat (wife) and from the seat next to her (a friend). all these expressions of pure admiration were reserved for Hugh jackman. Good, tough looking guy. And if good horse riding is equivalent to good acting, he did a swell job. Were there any facial expressions that i missed ? (actually honestly, good body language, and screen presence). Nicole Kidman's role, in comparison, was rather bland and she managed to make it marginally better than insipid !
  
  If there is one part that makes the movie a must see - its the entire sequence of over 1500 cattle running amok over what seemed like a huge cliff...(was that the great barrier reef?). Outstanding stuff.
  one hoped that music cd have played a meatier role. there was surely space and need for it.

Abhi to mein jawan hoon

saw an article in Brand Equity this morning and thought that it wd be apt to put my two penny bit as well..

That trimming away of white hair in the moustache, that face cream or face pack to hide away the fine lines, the gaming arcades that we so grudgingly love, young movies like Rock on, Jaane Tu..., that visit to the nearby gym, often repeating that being forty something is nothing more than a mere statistic and that latching on to comments on one's George Clooney looks (i loved this one!) even if they were in passing - all scream our (mine for sure) quest for "Y-O-U-T-H". if the 40 something crowds at VLCC, talwarkar's or Kaya ; the "treatment" seekers at Ayush, Soukya or other SPAs, and those crowding niche apparel and lifestyle stores are any indication - then the focus on maintaining, preserving and projecting youth overrides any real concern for fitness or health. In fact these tend to be the more convenient alibi's rather than the intrinsic drivers for action.

Those ahead in this pack are seen as those who need to project the most...aka people like me in their late thirties to early fifties.

But Why?

I guess purely because even while the age clock might be ticking, the hair might be George Clooney, and wrinkles may be preparing to appear, the mind is still stuck at that magic number (in my case @ 25.) Unmindful, the heart, mind and soul continue to sing a more youthful and peppy tune!

a) When people like me were 25, the options for things that we so desperately cling on to now - like those of eating out, of classy yet youthful apparel, of gaming options, of mobiles, sunglasses, cars, bikes and other gadgets, of fitness gyms, etc - were far more limited.

b) Even more limited was money in our pockets. It was the start of our careers at a time when india hadnot yet fully liberalised and salaries were yet to zoom. The desire to save for an impending marriage (either one's own or in the family), to buy stuff for the house and other basics was far more intense than to project any image. Whatever was left was to binge drink with friends.

c) Just as limited was our exposure to the internet, to vacation getaways and to all good things in life !

But now that we have learnt to like, to differentiate and to enjoy certain things, the heart doesnt want to let go. we want more of these. Honestly, not because we care about what perception or image our sartorial, epicurean or other preferences would create. But, because our choices are simply reflective of our acquired or innate confidence; of having travelled a certain distance in our lives and the fact that we care less about what others think of our preferences now. if they are perceived as youthful, great!

so if a friend announces to the world and celebrates her 40th birthday in great style, it doesnt raise our brows any more; another friend, unmindful of his near baldness dresses to kill the world, he is only being a rock star. and a third visits a gym to get rid of his never dis-appearing paunch, he is only being an icon that other 40 yr olds can emulate. In a way, what most of us seem to be doing now is what we could not do in good measure earlier! And as long as we have the inclination & desire and the resources, why not ?

But seriously, what matters is the ideologocal and not the biological age. whether we feel, think and act young is far more critical than whether we look young. As, anyways, on the ground, young imagery changes little. Projecting "youthfulness" in no way alters how the real 20-mid 30's see us. It only marginally alters the perception of those who are either our peers or those who are older or less youthful than us. and that too till the time that ideological age takes over.

There are those who talk about ageing gracefully and i subscribe to that as well. As i see it, the concepts of maintaining, preserving and projecting youthfulness & ageing gracefully are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

kyonki Baal chaahe safed ho jaaye, dil jawaan rehna cha-hi-yye.

Koi Farhan ko bulao...

The last week had us watching two mega block busters- Rab ne...and Ghajini in quick succession. One - an almost diabetic romance, the other a bone breaking revenge saga. There were mega differences between the two and yet there were some intrinsic similarities..

a) "Ab" 6 bhulao, 8 banao - In the battle of the abs of SuperKhans in their mid forties, 8 pacs delivered a knockout punch, looking all beefed up and fresh. 6 pacs have begun to look jaded.

b) Thodi punjabi, kunjam madrasi - each film presented a nubile debutant leading lady - who looked fresh and emoted decently, except that one was a punjaban and other probably madrasi. One was just about better than an average looking, while the other carried the hangover of tamil films in her make up and dialogue delivery. But despite that, her charm would probably carry her further than the former.

c) Wah kya treatment tha - Top of the line production values with great cinematography, in your face effects, laudable background scores and taut editing etc gave both films the required glitzy and glossy feel.

d) mujic thanda tha - music in both films disappointed - with the Rahman score for Ghajini, a bigger culprit.

e) Kamzor Kahaani mein zabardast twist ..... - While one was about bigamy and cheating in its subtext, its sweet as honey crust quite successfully camoflauged the core. The other was a cleverly intertwined saga of violence and romance that often became gory and repulsive. Despite the intrinsic differences in plot, both had their moments of charm and plot twists that showcased that talented directors, can engage the audience even with sub par stories. However, if one comes out of the theatre feeling cheated - it is because both films focus excessively on showcasing the acting prowesses of their respective lead stars.

The weak link in both were the rather imperfectly baked stories itself.

(and by the way in both -rationale, logic etc "dhoondte reh jaoge..")

f) "inescapable - unmissable - must see" - both films used high decibel efforts to create an aura that lured poor mice like us into believing that the pied pipers were going to play the world's best symphonies. But with great hype, comes great expectations and bigger disappointment as well..

For me, one was ugghh -tooo sweet for comfort, the other was aar...ghh...toooo violent.

purely for the record, if i was forced to recommend one of these, it wd be ughh...Rab Ne- not because it was any better but because of its unabashed display of punjabiyat - so intrinsic to me.

But honestly, instead, can some one ask Farhan to come back soon..?!!

It has to be Rock On ....anyday!

Gaming lesson

Howsoever much we hate to admit, the fact that we can learn so much from our own children, is irrefutable. just the other day, a couple of weeks ago, i noticed my daughter, playing a game on my mobile. That, that game ever existed on a piece of equipment owned by me was itself news to me -and that she was enjoying it so much annoyed me as much as it attracted me to it. I, ofcourse passed of my ignorance on games as something which was juvenile.

I decided to push and teach myself that game. And push i did. My first score of 10K on that game had me jumping like a little school boy, only to realise a couple of minutes later, that my top score wasnt even the top 5 scores, all of which were in the name of my daughter. Her top score was then some 20K odd and the lowest in the top 5 was 17K.

I persevered and probably played more on my mobile than my kids did. Not surprisingly, with every passing game, my skill level improved. Soon i had topped her score and was proudly showing off my name -right on top of the list, to all in the family.
My daughter, the calm soul, within a day, raised the bar for me to 27K.
I loved the challenge that she had thrown at me. This time i upped the ante to 35K, then 41K and finally 46K. But everytime, that i achieved a score, it did not take her even 24 hrs to bypass it and set me a new more challenging target.
She was loving the challenge more than me and feeding off it.
She continued to raise the bar first to 50 odd K and then to 71K and finally to 112K.
Today we routinely do scores of 200K plus on this silly game. She is still the leader with a top score of 256K and me at 252K. What is interesting is that a month ago i couldnt even fancy my chance of learning this game or scoring even a 10K!

Everytime, i was bypassed, i was making a mental note on what i needed to do better.
But more often, i was meekly following her score and was focused on improving upon that. What she was doing was passing on some invaluable lessons to a man who was nearly 3 decades older than her.

lesson 1 -dont rest on your laurels. what u have achieved was yesterday. today presents a new fresher and higher challenge.

lesson 2 - dont get bogged down because you have been by-passed. Enjoy the challenge. If you try and believe in yourself, there is no reason why you cant achieve the same goal or better it considerably.

lesson 3 - Your target is limited by your mindset, not by your abilities - you achieve what you want to, not what you are capable of. We first though 50K was unachievable, then were convinced that 100K was impossible. Crossing 150K was never going to happen and 200K was beyond us. But we successfully crossed each hurdle and never loked back.
So set your sights higher. Aim for the moon, you are sure to reach there someday.

lesson 4 - keep trying. because thats the only way life has created.

The fact that this lesson came with almost no baggage, no screaming or preaching and so calmly made it all the more endearing. With all humility i take in these lessons.